Ways to Find out what Homeowners’ Insurance Covers

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Walk down hall with coffee mug in one hand, soda can from son’s room in other. One goes into microwave, one goes into recycle bin. Get the two confused. Run like Baywatch-slow-mo as realization sets in. Get there just in time to rescue aluminum can from inside the microwave. Emit “phew” dodging-bullet noise. 

PS I couldn’t find a clean version of the Baywatch-slow-motion run to post, so here’s a slow-mo ninja cat instead. Enjoy!

Ways to Do Unintentional Science Experiments

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Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Put in coffee grounds. Forget to put water into coffeemaker. Turn on. Wait one minute. Wonder why it’s not perking. Open lid. Pour in water. Poof! A puff of air like a glaucoma test on steroids. Duck! Bob! Weave! Flying coffee grounds, incoming!  Get pinged repeatedly. Feels like hot sand on a beach. Emit semi-French words not permissible on most blogs. Consider tea instead.

Mother’s Day Ode

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Hydrangeas

Relatives tell me I look a lot like my late mother (she would never have liked the term late, for indeed, she was always on time for any appointment).

While we do share some characteristics (like the patented “snort and cackle” when laughing – the snackle, if you will) and a penchant for saying to unresponsive teen-age ears, “Enunciate!,” I’d have to say we were not really all that similar.

  •  She spoke five languages.
  •  I speech wun (Inglich).
  •  She played Bach like nobody’s business.
  •  I play the radio like a professional.
  •  She was genteel and cultured.
  •  I am kinda like, from Jersey (she was too, but seemed less so, if youse know what’m sayin.)
  •  She was always in my corner and cheered me on no matter what.
  •  I was oblivious to her encouragement until it wasn’t there anymore.

Thank you, Lord, for the mother you gifted me with.  I hope she’s snackling up there with you, playing a fugue on the piano and sitting in that log cabin she always pined for.  God bless all the mothers, always in our hearts.