Ways to Find out what Homeowners’ Insurance Covers

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Walk down hall with coffee mug in one hand, soda can from son’s room in other. One goes into microwave, one goes into recycle bin. Get the two confused. Run like Baywatch-slow-mo as realization sets in. Get there just in time to rescue aluminum can from inside the microwave. Emit “phew” dodging-bullet noise. 

PS I couldn’t find a clean version of the Baywatch-slow-motion run to post, so here’s a slow-mo ninja cat instead. Enjoy!

Ways to Get Unintentional Exercise

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Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Watch zombie movie. Don’t notice until too late as cat bumps against leg. Jump straight into air. Emit “kiai!” karate noise. Scare dickens out of cat in return. Gather Almond Joy, popcorn and soda (amulets known to fend off undead attacks.) Watch rest of movie while getting “nexercise” – that is, turn head continuously in case zombies creep up unnoticed. 

Catflix

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This is my cat, KitKat J. Snorington, binge-watching his version of Nature NetFlix. Just outside, a whole world of squirrels, chattering birds, and two raccoons (such frequent visitors, we’ve named them Rocco and Enrique) mesmerize him for hours. Until it’s time for his catnap (which lasts for most of the day, just FYI). At that point, he lives up to his name, and starts snoring – a ton. 🙂