Well, I admit it. Every day I read the writing job boards and every day I “kvetch” about the measly rates. But every so often I find a gig listing that makes me curse like a sailor on steroids and Sugar Smacks! Then I say a prayer and do a good deed to keep my karma clean.
Here’s a writing gig listing I saw today.
A new entertainment blog is looking for contributing writers, someone who knows their whereabouts in the celebrity field. You will be expected to submit at least four or more articles per week. The company start up rates is $6 but will increase gradually.
The job is available asap.
Let’s break it down:
First off, what does it mean when they require “someone who knows their whereabouts in the celebrity field?” Where am I? In the vast, make-believe tract of land where they store all the celebrities? And my place in it? Why, I suppose I’m somewhere between the Geico Gecko and the second generation Kardashians (the ones with Bruce Jenner’s last name.)
“At least four or more articles per week.” You don’t need the words “or more” if you’ve already said “at least.”
“The company start up rates is six dollars but will increase gradually.” It should be start up rates are. And whoa! I wouldn’t want the rate to increase suddenly! Like up to minimum wage or something. Mercy. Might make the old ticker skip a beat!
“The job is available asap.” ASAP should be capitalized, as it’s an acronym, meaning as soon as possible. But wait. Isn’t every job available ASAP? What are they, feeling out the candidates that they plan to hire two years from now?
I won’t give them free advertising by mentioning the company’s name here, but you can find their ad via the link to “Freelance Writing Gigs.”
Not for nuttin, as we say in Jersey, but if they paid a decent rate, they might find some decent writers responding.
All right, I’ve vented. Later I’ll post a real, viable writing market to counteract this dud.