Writing Market: This One’s a Dud


Well, I admit it.¬† Every day I read the writing¬† job boards and every day I “kvetch” about the measly rates.¬† But every so often I find a gig listing that makes me curse like a sailor on steroids and Sugar Smacks!¬† Then I say a prayer and do a good deed to keep my karma clean.

Here’s a writing gig listing I saw today.

A new entertainment blog is looking for contributing writers, someone who knows their whereabouts in the celebrity field.  You will be expected to submit at least four or more articles per week. The company start up rates is $6 but will increase gradually. 
The job is available asap.

Let’s break it down:

First off, what does it mean when they require “someone who knows their whereabouts in the celebrity field?” ¬† Where am I?¬† In the vast, make-believe tract of land where they store all the celebrities?¬† And my place in it?¬† Why, I suppose I’m somewhere between the Geico Gecko and the second generation Kardashians (the ones with Bruce Jenner’s last name.)

“At least four or more articles per week.”¬† You don’t need the words “or more” if you’ve already said “at least.”

“The company start up rates is six dollars but will increase gradually.” It should be start up rates are.¬† And whoa!¬† I wouldn’t want the rate to increase suddenly!¬† Like up to minimum wage or something.¬† Mercy.¬† Might make the old ticker skip a beat!

“The job is available asap.”¬† ASAP should be capitalized, as it’s an acronym, meaning as soon as possible.¬† But wait.¬† Isn’t every job available ASAP?¬† What are they, feeling out the candidates that they plan to hire two years from now?

I won’t give them free advertising by mentioning the company’s name here, but you can find their ad via the link to “Freelance Writing Gigs.”

Not for nuttin, as we say in Jersey, but if they paid a decent rate, they might find some decent writers responding.

All right, I’ve vented.¬† Later I’ll post a real, viable writing market to counteract this dud.


Around New Jersey: Too Weird


Things are getting hinky in Jersey, people.¬† An odd message showed up on the cell phones of users in Monmouth, Ocean and Middlesex today that warned, “Extreme Alert:¬† Civil Emergency in This Area.¬† Take Shelter Now.¬† US Govern.”¬† Verizon says it was a test sent inadvertently and that there was never any reason for alarm, but it had people here on edge all day.¬† This just days after dozens of New Jerseyans reported that they had felt an earthquake that didn’t show up on seismographs.¬† Did we take a freaky turn into the Twilight Zone or something?¬† What gives?

Joy Ahead


You have been oriented that you must pay a price in order to get somewhere, and in the process, you’ve come to believe that getting there must be really important; therefore, it must be your purpose. And we say, but if you’re not getting to joy, then you’ve gotten nowhere. Joy is really where you’re going.



Note to Self


With the new year coming, I usually buy my new calendar around this time.  I tend toward the Sandra Boynton calendar for the wall and Day-Runner appointment book for my desk.  But I had to ask:  what do you use?  How do you keep track of important appointments, meetings, deadlines, bills to be paid, etc.

For the writers out there, do you use a separate submission tracker as well, or just jot down your milestones on your regular calendar?¬† I mean the queries submitted, article/revision deadlines, etc.¬† I use Writer’s Market online (there’s a yearly fee), but it doesn’t fully meet my needs.

Any suggestions?

Writing Tip: Scrap it or Save it?


Just sitting here trying to figure out how much of my high-volume (not necessarily high-quality) word count from NaNoWriMo to salvage, when I came across this post on Writer Unboxed by Yuvi Zalkow. He offers a few unorthodox tips on how to make your crappy writing seem less crappy.  Be sure to check out his video, but be warned:  there is (oddly) a brief bit of semi-nudity.