Ways to Do Unintentional Science Experiments


Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Put in coffee grounds. Forget to put water into coffeemaker. Turn on. Wait one minute. Wonder why it’s not perking. Open lid. Pour in water. Poof! A puff of air like a glaucoma test on steroids. Duck! Bob! Weave! Flying coffee grounds, incoming!  Get pinged repeatedly. Feels like hot sand on a beach. Emit semi-French words not permissible on most blogs. Consider tea instead.

Ways to Get Unintentional Exercise


Photo by kazuend on Unsplash

Watch zombie movie. Don’t notice until too late as cat bumps against leg. Jump straight into air. Emit “kiai!” karate noise. Scare dickens out of cat in return. Gather Almond Joy, popcorn and soda (amulets known to fend off undead attacks.) Watch rest of movie while getting “nexercise” – that is, turn head continuously in case zombies creep up unnoticed.